Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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