and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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