Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
