Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize