I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
