literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You may now shotgun with the bride
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
