I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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