That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
