Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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