What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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