she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
