Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
