Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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