Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
