By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
