Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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