i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
