we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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