Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
