i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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