He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
