Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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