Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
