4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
