Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
