If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
