he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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