my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
