Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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