There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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