you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
