i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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