the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
