my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
