first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
