You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
