Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
