I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
birth control should be required to get into college
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
