But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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