I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
