please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
