Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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