I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
