I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Your dad touched me again.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
