Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
