just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
