no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
