So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
