Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
