I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
