oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's like iHOP with fire
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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