the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
