the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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