I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize