escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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