Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
