I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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