Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
