um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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