I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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