Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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