Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
