There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
