Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
