It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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