I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize