My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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