Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
They took my balls.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
