Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
