blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
