Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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