I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
